• Daydree Horner

Happy Thanksgiving and Happy Holidays! It’s that time of year again! And, it's also that time of year when we sit down at the holiday table with family and friends to eat… and talk. All kinds of conversations can come up. Sometimes they’re hot button topics like politics, gun rights and abortion. Are you ready? Here are 7 tips I’ve put together, to help us all through it. Wishing you every blessing and a wonderful Thanksgiving!

  1. Get Clear. If you’re the one bringing up the issue, get clear about why you need to broach this particular topic. What do you need to get out of it?

  2. Peace. Next, form an intention for peace between the two of you. No matter what the other party says you will refrain from reacting in any way that isn’t thoughtful and mindful.

  3. Be curious. It is better to be curious about why someone thinks the way they do, as opposed to making them wrong for thinking it. When people feel like they’re seen as ‘wrong’, they tend to build defensiveness which can manifest as conflict between you.

  4. Healthy language. Refrain from using sarcasm, caustic tones, condescension… you get the idea. They drive people apart. If this becomes difficult and you feel that you’re about to say something you might regret, try staying silent for awhile and simply listening to understand. Only respond when you’ve thought about a healthy way to share your thoughts and not a moment before. Be respectful at all costs.

  5. Assess the moment. How much does this relationship mean to you? Are you willing to harm or lose this relationship over this hot button topic?

  6. Remember Your Intention. Feel free to harken back to your intention during this conversation to keep you grounded. Is your intention merely to understand the other person’s views? Are you concerned about how their point-of-view will affect the two of you? And so on.

  7. Breathe. Relaxing breaths really do help when you need to gauge your emotions. You can get through this hot topic peacefully as long as your heart and head work together.

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  • Daydree Horner

It’s that time of year again. The nights are colder, no more beach days for awhile. I’m reminded of darkness and light, the yin yang of life. Suffering and joy. Sometimes both can occur at the same time in abundance. Whoosh! Like a tidal wave of emotions. Suffering can feel as though it washes away the joy. But it’s okay! The joy is not gone, it’s only submerged for a brief moment.

You have freedom to fly when you address the suffering. Pushing it down can result in random outbursts of rage, feelings of isolation and emotional numbness. Depending on your preference, a spiritual, intellectual or kinesthetic approach (prayer, reiki, talk or art therapy, and moving meditations) work for managing overwhelming sadness. Although, in my opinion, a combination of all 3 approaches works best. You are not alone! Everyone will go through emotional pain at some point in their lives. No one is immune. It’s simply part of life’s journey. And if we see it as such, it makes pain easier to manage. This is true wellness - understanding and being receptive to life’s yin and yang. In managing the heaviness we can embrace and expand all aspects of our lives including more calm and joy.

Let yourself experience joy in the midst of pain. You are allowed.

One last thing, while experiencing trauma or any kind of adversity is challenging, the benefit is that it transforms your heart to expand and become stronger emotionally. You become more patient and empathetic regarding the pain of others. Again, you are not alone. We’re all on this transformational journey together.

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  • Daydree Horner

Reiki is an ancient Japanese healing art which can be used therapeutically to help us restore, reset and even amplify, our energy system. In turn, when our body’s energy is in alignment our emotional, mental and physical pain can be alleviated. I’ve been practicing this transformative therapy since 2009 and offer both services: Reiki and Couples Reiki at MyOshun.

I’m honored to share with you, my feature article with goop on Couples Reiki, including guidelines for better self stimulation influenced by this revitalizing practice. Enjoy.

For more on Reiki and Couples Reiki click here.

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