I jumped in the ride share on the way to my girlfriend’s house for lunch. It was an activity I did often so I didn’t expect anything other than a mundane 16 minute ride. As I entered the vehicle, the man driving confirmed my name and proceeded with the usual pleasantries. Are you having a good day so far? Where are you headed? What do you do?
That last one was a little personal, but my driver was charming so I answered anyway.
Upon hearing that I was a relationship coach and reiki master, he shared, “I help my friends with advice on their relationships. People have all kinds of relationship problems. I don’t know what it is, but they just seem to approach me all the time!” I responded, “That’s nice.” He continued, “It’s so interesting, but most problems people have in relationships are caused by OCD. Isn’t that something?” “I don’t think that that’s true.” I said. “Oh yes, it is!” he replied and smiled.
By the way, for the purpose of this blog, let’s call our driver, John.
John continued, “When couples have issues it’s because one of them is OCD.” I said nothing. He briefly turned around, “It’s true! Just think about when you’re having an issue. You’re thinking about it over and over again. That’s OCD.” I replied, “If that were true, then there would be no need for therapists. The diagnosis would be the same every time. All of the mental health care workers would be out of their jobs.” John replied, “I’m telling you the problems in relationships are cause by OCD.” He went on and on. I said nothing. “There are over 30 different kinds of OCD.” He turned around again and smiled to make sure I was listening, “Over 30!” “Really?” I replied. I didn’t want us to crash. “Yes.” He turned back around and kept talking about friends needing him for advice and how OCD was the cause of all of it. He was very nice, though.
16 minutes never went by so slowly.
“You also help people with anxiety, right? I’ve heard of reiki. My girlfriend has anxiety. Are you on social? What’s your name on there?” He shot me a smile. I told him, and we pulled up to my destination. “Nice meeting you, take care!” I said, as I hopped out of the car.
It was as if a butterfly flew right by my ear. A slight alert, easy to ignore. But the intuition was clear, fluttering on by. I paid attention.
There are 4 general types of OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder), not 30. For all I knew, this young man had OCD himself, anxiety, and no girlfriend. Actually, it’s irrelevant. What is more pertinent is that I paid attention to my intuition that warned me he was lying.
We all have intuition. However, sometimes we don’t follow it regarding our relationships and when meeting new people. How many times have you exited a challenging or traumatic situation with someone, only to contemplate that if you had listened to your intuition you could have avoided it?
According to the Cambridge Dictionary: intuition is an ability to understand or know something without needing to think about it or use reason to discover it…
Intuition isn’t usually a strong feeling like the one you get when you think someone is following you. That feeling sparks the fight-or-flight response of danger. Intuition, on the other hand, is much more subtle which is why we sometimes don’t follow it. John was charming and personable. And, I think if he were talking to someone who didn’t know a thing about mental health or OCD, they might believe him. The same thing can happen on a date with someone like a John. They start telling you something about their life and because they’re charming and kind, you believe them. You want to believe them more than listening to your own intuition.
Pay attention to the butterfly wings fluttering by your ear. The flutter is subtle but impactful if you heed it. Subscribe to my newsletter ⬆️ for 3 ways to sharpen your intuition.