Is the world going nuts or is it just me? Another mass shooting. Heartbreaking. So much to do and not enough time. Exhausted. Inflation. It’s an election year and it feels like chaos already. I could use a break.
These are things that can create stress across the board. General tensions - let’s call them. They are the common tensions of life that many of us experience. But, then there are those challenging personal experiences that are far more intense, simply because of their nature. We can call those - acute tensions, like divorce, learning that a friend has cancer or losing a job when you’re the breadwinner. These types of experiences hit in a tougher way like a fall from the air without a parachute.
“Life is a jewel to fight,” my Grandmums once said. She would know, as a woman raising 4 children on her own.
As I dealt more with aging parents and my husband became more stressed with his demanding job, I started to lose my natural perkiness. Apparently, I was joyful from the beginning. My dad called me perky, ready to laugh and play. But these days, I was less perky, more like… peh.
General and acute tensions became my unwanted friends… and my husband’s. What’s a couple to do?
We cannot change the circumstances of life. But, we can change our responses to them.
When things become wound tight like a rubber band in relationships often no one does anything about it because the stress comes on slowly. And, when it does come on quickly, each person is busy running around trying to fix what caused the stress. Therefore, the actual stress is not addressed.
But, once you start to feel that something is amiss between you and your partner, you can handle it.
As a Reiki Master Teacher and meditation expert, I reached into my bag of tricks. Stress was affecting my jewel of a relationship and I was determined to fight it.
My husband didn’t know much about meditation but he was willing… and a willing heart is all you need to move forward.
Meditation relieves stress and anxiety, lowers blood pressure, creates self-awareness and helps to make us more mindful, and therefore, more kind. We need all of this in our relationships in order for them to thrive. When there is consistent tension, we may become short-tempered and as a result, unkind to our significant others. Couples need meditation especially these days.
There are several positions you can do to achieve couples meditation aside from the one shown. You can sit back to back or forward facing, holding hands. See our lovely couple, Beth and Mike in the attached video. Each person is grounding their energy with one hand on their own leg (root chakra). The other hands are on the partner’s upper back or chest (heart chakra). Breathe slowly and mindfully. Stay connected to how you’re feeling. Create an intention of peace and love for yourself and your partner. Focus on your well-being and theirs. Take your time with this process.
We cannot erase the obstacles that interrupt our perky, joyful relationships, but we can transform our reactions to them and each other, one breath at a time.