Grow Your Joy

Happiness is fleeting like going shopping. The activity of shopping may create a feeling of bliss as you purchase and arrive home with new things for yourself. It’s an external experience. However, when you wave and smile at the shop owner of this establishment because you’re fond of her and grateful for her kindness, this is joy.

Joy comes from within our soul and carries meaning for us. This is valuable because joy is a major contributor to feeling good. And feeling good is part of our wellness. Anxiety is reduced and our mental health increases when we feel good. By the way, laughter (often a by-product of joy) releases endorphins in the brain and decreases our stress hormones. So we want more of that too! When we have a true sense of joy we don’t necessarily need outside stimuli in order to feel good. Joy begins as an inside job. It grows from within as well.

The question then becomes: Is your state of being fertile ground for blooming joy?

As life flows, joy can be rocked by unpleasant people, challenging news, and other unforeseen experiences. But you can fortify your joy with the way you live your life and with your beliefs. Keep planting. The joy will continue to bloom and strengthen your wholeness. And don’t forget to share your joy with others. That’s the best part.

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Getting Through Infidelity

Those aren't my earrings.

Before I met my husband, I dated a guy who cheated on me.

The day I discovered what happened I decided to stop by and see him ...unannounced. He always left his door unlocked. (He probably doesn't anymore though.) Regardless, when I entered his house I went right to the bathroom since I'd been driving for some time. I was about to call him and ask when he'd be home, when I discovered a pair of hoop earrings on the bathroom shelf. Those aren't my earrings, I thought. But whose are they? I walked into his bedroom. There was a photo of some random naked woman cuddling his dog.

Don't ask.

I called him. He was pretty nervous.

Just then, the door opened and the same woman from the photo enters, fully clothed, with his dog. Apparently she had the task of walking the dog and was ready to give me an earful. Needless to say, it was quite a messy confrontation. My relationship subsequently ended, and I was grateful.

I wasn't in love with this guy so besides a bruised ego, it was easy to let him go. But what happens when you are in love? What if the individual who cheated on you is your spouse? How do you manage that moment? Your emotions?

People cheat for many reasons. Some of the most common motivations are when the person no longer feels emotionally connected to the partner, they have low self esteem, they're sexually unhappy with their mate, or they have a sexual addiction. Whatever the cause, when there is infidelity you still have to deal with the fallout.

That incident happened almost two decades ago. I'll never stop by someone's home unannounced again. But I'm glad that I did that day.

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Bring the Light

Everywhere darkness. Thank goodness I have a plethora of candles! Power outages immediately remind me to be keenly aware of my surroundings. Slow down. Can you feel where you're going? Finally… a candle. It’s funny how light easily permeates the darkness.

Darkness isn't exactly fun but it’s a wonderful reminder of how we take the necessity of light for granted both literally and figuratively.

The absence of light is darkness. It has no power. It is the light that has power over darkness. But why do we have such a problem accessing this light in the face of dark, heavy, troubling experiences?

We know that we cannot alter certain challenges that are naturally a part of life. A family member will die, someone we know will become ill, and so on. But we’re not here to pretend that darkness does not exist. However, we can bring our kindness, love and care to our relationships and every situation that needs it. That is light. It is the best of us. That part of you that creates a dinner for a grieving family, visits a friend or relative in need, or simply, tells your spouse that you appreciate his/her contribution to the family. When we show up with presence, grace and love, we bring the light.

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