Couples Harmony

When we think of our favorite songs, the harmonies are impeccable. The melodies are catchy. We can’t get enough. Relationships are similar in form. Great harmony is required in order to make our relationships sing.

But how do couples maintain harmony and peace these days when fear, anxiety and stress have the potential to manifest as apathy, disconnection or short tempers between us?

First, let’s begin with what we mean by harmony. When individual sounds are joined together to create a whole unit, harmony is achieved. In a relationship, when someone hits the wrong chord the harmony goes off. There is no peace. Sometimes it’s just a small moment, one note. But if we are stressed, this moment can create discord.

However, we all have different types of relationships with our partners, so the sense of harmony and peace varies from couple to couple.

The ultimate goal is to understand your personal harmony within your relationship because there are no rules for a successful song. From Stravinsky to Frank Zappa, they broke the rules of harmony, yet still created beautiful music.

That said, what’s your harmony as a couple?

Boomerang Love

Singles, boomerang your love! What? Yes, the love you embody can come back to you. It's in your good actions. Nothing you do is wasted.

A while back, my husband forgot his phone at home on his way to work. I knew the traffic would be brutal the later it became, so I tried calling the front desk at his job to see if I could alert him before too long. When I called, I got the security guard, Eileen. I told her what had occurred and she was quite empathetic in her response even though we did not know each other and she was not obligated to help me. She put me on hold and looked everywhere for David, but to no avail. Eventually, he ended up coming home and retrieving his phone. Yet, it was Eileen's thoughtful actions that day that stayed on my mind.

Cut to: St. Patrick's Day the following week. David comes home from work with St. Patrick's Day themed treats from who? Eileen. For both of us.

Singles: Be an Eileen. The way the universe works is this: We are made up of energy. A lot of it. So whatever we do or say will have an impact on others. When you choose to be good, caring and empathetic, for example, those values in the form of energy are sent out into the world and can act as a boomerang of love that comes back to you. The key is to have the awareness that it is so, especially if you want to attract a like-minded soul with your values. Tap into the knowing that you're attracting the best of you. You are a love magnet. Nothing is wasted. Everything matters.

Take care of yourselves and each other.

💚🦋 Daydree

Let Go and Be Free

“Let go and be free,” said the chrysalis to the butterfly. Release your hard shell and become the beautiful being you were meant to be.

Letting go is an integral part of many healing, holistic and wellness teachings. However, this letting go concept will help in your relationships too.

There’s often an element of chaos in the world lingering beneath the surface just waiting to sprout. Sometimes it manifests in our interactions with strangers, friends or romantic relationships. However, there’s a choice when dealing with these times of unrest. Emotions, coupled with past experiences and a possible dash of trauma can make people do and say things that they never imagined before.

Understanding this and learning how to deal with it is exercising true savvy in your public and private relationships.

Here are some tips for letting go in order to create more peace:

1. Let go of the need to judge others especially when in a disagreement. It doesn’t feel good for the other person. Being judged usually makes people feel diminished and isolated which is not fun because they usually know they’re in error anyway! Judging the other can manifest more discord as well. So even if you know you are the right one, 20 times over, resist the need to express judgment. No one is perfect. And as we say in Barbados, “You today, me tomorrow.” We all fall from grace at some point… even if just a little bit.

2. Unplug the cord and listen. Arguments are like electricity. They keep going if they’re charged. That said, if there’s an argument brewing and you want to stop engaging… unplug the cord. Refrain from talking. Just listen. You might be missing what’s really going on. Plus you can save yourself some stress too. Take those deep breaths. And, listen with your heart, not with your head. Usually, underneath seeming anger is pain. Through your heartfelt listening you may actually be healing the situation.

3. Shelve the moment. Walk away. Especially if you’re working through a moment where there’s a potential for real escalation of anger or a break in your relationship, this is often a good tactic. Constant arguing about what’s wrong tends to make us more fired up in the moment which perpetuates the arguing. Allow for some alone time to cool off. It may not be what you want to do, because you want to express yourself. However, relationships aren’t just about expressing ourselves. Sometimes the way to peace is no expression, but letting go instead, in order to have the relationship we truly desire.

Take care of yourselves and each other.

💚🦋 Daydree