It was during our first conversation that I thought he might be the one. There was something inherently shared between us, as if we were two separate garments sewn with the same thread. However, it wasn’t because we both liked movies, travel and fast cars. We do. Many do. But there was another aspect more significant between us which made me want to know more. It was easy and I didn’t understand quite why. We spoke for 3 1/2 hours.
My intuition was confirmed with our first date which followed 2 days later. Since then we’ve been together for over 15 years.
We met online dating. Although, it doesn’t really matter how you meet your partner. What matters is the connection that follows once you’ve met. Does the connection work? And if so, why does it work… and how does it last?
Having activities in common is fine. But you don’t need many activities in common at all to manifest a happy, long-lasting relationship.
It really comes down to the shared core value systems of each individual. What are your beliefs? According to the Oxford definition:
Values (noun): a person's principles or standards of behavior; one's judgment of what is important in life.
That’s why my husband and I clicked.
Core values (or beliefs) are what shape and guide us through life, and ours matched. Core values create meaning for individuals. And, when things have personal meaning for us we’re more determined (and more likely) to be successful at them for the long run. This includes relationships, careers, and other passions.
Diversity. Self-respect. Tranquility. Speed. Decisiveness. These are random examples of core values. There are so many. Discover which ones exemplify you.
And, the next time you’re on a date, be more interested in whether your core values make sense together and less about whether or not they like vacationing in Cancún.