Embracing More Calm

Recently, I celebrated a milestone birthday. Ya know, one of those numbers that makes you wonder: Who, me? Regardless, any birthday is a great time for reflection. How did it start vs. How it’s going. While this is a popular meme, like all good memes there’s value to it. When we mark our miles in any aspect of our lives, we have more awareness as to how we can move forward more effectively. Today I’d like to focus on the aspect of self-care and personal wellness. Because that is the spring from which everything else will flow.

In particular, let’s talk about anxiety. The topic seems to be coming up more these days so let’s bring some awareness to it.

6 signs You May Have Anxiety:

1) Talking faster than usual, running out of breath, short-temperedness or snapping. When we’re anxious our heart rate speeds up thereby causing us to do the same. This can lead to impatience and frustration with ourselves and others, resulting in lack of awareness of how we’re behaving.

2) Stressed face. Chronic anxiety often manifests with a physical component. This can be frowning, furrowing of the brow, clenching the jaw or simply an uneasy stomach. When we’re anxious our energy system is contracting and not relaxed, thereby causing our body to be in a “holding” position. I like to think of it as the body’s natural way of attempting to protect us while alerting us that we’re in a state of dis-ease.

3) Ignoring self-care. When we’re too busy to take a shower, brush our hair or teeth, you might have anxiety. Anxiety can stem from very positive things too, like getting married, having kids or a demanding job that you love. When I was getting married, I lost about 10 lbs. My doctor said, “You’re stressed.” I replied, “I’m happy though.” The doctor said, “You can actually be happy and stressed at the same time.”

4) Lack of focus, easily overwhelmed, paranoid. That state of feeling like we have “too many balls in the air” is extreme stress. Many folks can operate this way for periods of time, but that doesn’t mean it’s good for the mind-body temple. Also, it may give us a false sense that we’re successful, when we may actually need to be more efficient in our tasks.

5) Eating or drinking habits are imbalanced. Simply put, when we’re stressed we drink or eat in excess or don’t eat much at all. Neither scenario is beneficial for maintaining wellness.

6) Holding onto grudges. Let it go. It’s an oldie but a goodie, but… Don’t sweat the small stuff. It really does us no good. Life is much too valuable and definitely too short.

But, here’s the best news: We can reduce anxiety right now! Exercise. It helps to regulate our hormones. And our hormones are the whole enchilada. They play a huge role in our immune system health, appetite, mood and so much more. Practice good sleeping habits. Go to bed around the same time every night. This will lead to consistent, restful sleeps. Drink the bulk of your water earlier in the day so that late night drinking won’t keep you up running to the bathroom all night. Give yourself enough time to wind down for a restful sleep which means releasing the device at least one hour before bed, especially if its social media which might keep you up processing headlines. Eat calming foods like green leafy vegetables, salmon, pumpkin seeds, berries, dark chocolate, rooibos tea and turmeric ginger tea, just to name a few. Practice yoga, meditation or reiki therapy. These are all natural modalities that calm the body and mind so that you can maintain better equilibrium in these challenging times.

However, if you have a deeper issue with anxiety which requires more help, please seek the care of your local health professional.

When we create better coping skills for life’s circumstances, it’s easier to love ourselves more fully, have patience with ourselves and others, have a good time, and roll with life’s ups and downs with ninja-like adjustments.

Take care of yourselves and each other.

Love Values

It was during our first conversation that I thought he might be the one. There was something inherently shared between us, as if we were two separate garments sewn with the same thread. However, it wasn’t because we both liked movies, travel and fast cars. We do. Many do. But there was another aspect more significant between us which made me want to know more. It was easy and I didn’t understand quite why. We spoke for 3 1/2 hours.

My intuition was confirmed with our first date which followed 2 days later. Since then we’ve been together for over 15 years.

We met online dating. Although, it doesn’t really matter how you meet your partner. What matters is the connection that follows once you’ve met. Does the connection work? And if so, why does it work… and how does it last?

Having activities in common is fine. But you don’t need many activities in common at all to manifest a happy, long-lasting relationship.

It really comes down to the shared core value systems of each individual. What are your beliefs? According to the Oxford definition:

Values (noun): a person's principles or standards of behavior; one's judgment of what is important in life.

That’s why my husband and I clicked.

Core values (or beliefs) are what shape and guide us through life, and ours matched. Core values create meaning for individuals. And, when things have personal meaning for us we’re more determined (and more likely) to be successful at them for the long run. This includes relationships, careers, and other passions.

Diversity. Self-respect. Tranquility. Speed. Decisiveness. These are random examples of core values. There are so many. Discover which ones exemplify you.

And, the next time you’re on a date, be more interested in whether your core values make sense together and less about whether or not they like vacationing in Cancún.

Energy Matters

How you doin’?

How you’re feeling matters.

In some instances, the way we feel is a direct result of our energy system, not necessarily a physical condition. We tend to keep tabs on our physical appearance, health, the foods we consume and how much money we make. But, do we pay as close attention to our energy? In the Chinese culture this is called your ‘chi’ and the Japanese call it ‘ki’ - life force energy that flows through every living thing.

Close your eyes and sit completely still for a moment. Feel that subtle energy moving through your body. Does it feel calm, balanced or something else? This type of awareness is vital to understanding what you need in any given situation.

I’ll give you an example. When I was in high school taking my college entry exam, I failed to turn over the last page in order to complete the test. There were 30 questions left unanswered! After I handed in the exam and it was revealed what I did, my entire energy system felt charged and shaky, like I was short circuiting. But, more notably was my energy during the test which probably caused me not to complete it. You see, while I was taking the exam my entire energy system was elevated as I noticed the length of the thing. It seemed like I was climbing Machu Picchu. When will this test end? And, that stressful energy of “when will this end” probably contributed to me becoming flustered and not completing the exam. (Thankfully, I did well enough and was accepted to a good university.) ;)

However, this was a great lesson. The importance of mindful awareness of our own energy. If I knew then what I know now, I would have planted my feet on the ground, closed my eyes for a moment and taken a few slow, deep breaths, creating a reset with more calm and focus. And then, I’d complete the exam.

Remember your ‘ki’. When we connect to it, we make better decisions for our lives. Reiki literally means Universal Life Force energy. This therapy is a great way to find calm, focus and balance when experiencing stress, anxiety, emotional and physical pain.

Take care of yourselves and each other.