It is said that an action done at least 3 times begins a pattern. This concept can hold true for dating, as well. Once we start a pattern of behavior within a relationship or attracting a certain type of individual that’s not really good for us, it may be challenging to know that we’re doing it and how to move forward towards a healthier option. Since relationship goals are about having more relationship wellness, let’s explore some road blocks that we may experience on the journey to attracting the good love. When we bring awareness to our patterns that don’t serve us in relationship, we can flip them, and become healthy love magnets.
4 Unhealthy Relationship Patterns
Assuming their behavior will change. Sometimes traits like unfaithfulness, unhealthy anger, lack of respect, and the like can repeatedly harm a relationship. Yes, some people do transform and change their old habits. But true change comes when the individual wants it and initiates the transformation. As the partner, you should then witness viable, sustainable adjustments that shift your perception of the entire relationship for the good.
Getting stuck on a type. Somehow you’ve told yourself that a particular type of partner, is the only one for you. The musician, the gym type, the funny girl, the bad boy. Ask yourself: Is this type of individual healthy for you ultimately or are you simply charmed by the packaging? For years, before I became married, I had a certain type that I dated. I told myself that this was “my type”. My friends even started saying that this was my type. But guess what? I was lost in the idea of what I told myself I wanted, instead of exploring what qualities in men truly matched with mine in a healthy way.
You don’t want to change. You wonder why your relationships keep failing. You’ve been in several relationships that don’t seem to go anywhere and you find yourself in a similar predicament each time one ends. This is the classic scenario of not personally changing our habits in relationship but expecting others to change around us. If you find yourself vocalizing to your friends that the folks you’re dating all seem the same, chances are you’re not interested in your own personal transformation. When we’re in the healthiest place that we need to be in emotionally, mentally and physically, then we attract the most successful relationship to us. It’s a mirror game. Something to contemplate.
You’re tied to them financially. In my experience as a coach I’ve had clients who experience notable issues of anger and disrespect with their spouse. However, they feel stuck in the relationship because they are financially bound to the person since their home and car are owned by the individual. Furthermore, if there are children involved this feels like more of a trap. The most important thing at all times is to be safe and seek help if needed. Also, begin your move towards financial independence.
Awareness is the key to breaking detrimental relationship patterns. The best methods that I’ve found to create more awareness within are meditation and reiki. When properly utilized, meditation and reiki allow the subconscious to be more accessible to inner transformation. These methods actually create space in the subconscious so that we can start to imagine new thought as opposed to recycling the same old ones which may not be helping us.
Take care of yourselves and each other.