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Love, an Imperfect Journey


He swept me up into his arms and I knew right then that we were meant to be together. (gag)


Well, it really wasn’t like that at all.


I’d been online dating for 3 years on and off. Mostly off. I’d go through bouts of “I don’t need anyone,” to “I’m married to myself,” to “Where the heck is he already?!” Finally, I went on the first date with my now husband, David. I was 40 minutes late and he was 20 minutes early. He’s not usually early and I’m rarely late. I was a nervous wreck. We both were, actually. As a result, we had 2 shots of tequila to begin our meeting. We talked unceasingly. And, there was chemistry… for sure. It wasn’t just because of the tequila, it was us. Things were going well. But he was married previously. He filed for divorce, but she wouldn’t sign the papers. Unbelievable. Normally, as a relationship coach I’d say, “Run! Run very fast and very far away!” But, David did quickly handle this issue, and he was free.


I’ve heard clients talk about the variations of “perfect” that they need in a partner. And while it’s good to have a list of what you’d like to create for a viable relationship, it’s more important to be wise to the imperfections of life while you’re forming this vision.


“I’m looking for a man in finance, trust fund, 6’ 5”, blue eyes.” Good luck, girl. Let’s get real.


But, I get it. There are qualities that we want in another human being if we’re interested in living with someone for a lifetime. However, there’s more to it than a list.


I had ideals with dating. Most of us do. My intention was to play it cool and not let on that I was falling for this man, David. Needless to say that completely fell apart.


We still used answering machine’s back then when I decided to leave him a message confirming that he could come over later that day. When I left the message before hanging up I said, “Alright, so I’ll see you later. Love you!”


Cringe! Why did I just say that? I started fumbling with my words before the machine could cut me off. “Uh, that’s not what I meant. I didn’t mean ‘love’. I meant, ya know… well, alright. Never mind, bye!!” Dang, I just fell into a word hole. Anyway, we laughed about it that evening and still laugh about it today, 18 years later. We were in love.


In about a year, I was ready to move in together. Isn’t that the way things are supposed to go if you’re serious about someone? Well, he was serious and I was serious, but he was not ready to move in together.


(Remember he was married previously and it didn’t go well. Folks need time to rebalance after divorce.)


Regardless, I like to move with alacrity! (sigh) Okay, fine. I will wait.


We did move in together after 3 years. But, isn’t 3 years when a couple gets married if they’re serious? We were only moving in together. Ugh!


While we were moving at different speeds, we were on the same journey.


It is said, that if you don’t get married after 3 years dating, something is wrong, right? Not necessarily. We married after 7 years. Yup. And, we’ve been together this whole time maneuvering through life’s winding roads, pitfalls and blissful moments.


So here’s the thing, every couple creates their own reality of how their relationship will go. This is not based on anyone else but the folks in the relationship. That’s it. It’s your own private world and you are crafting it together. Be thoughtful on how you both would like to create it and you’ll have a solid partnership.


Subscribe above ⬆️ for tips on how you can position yourself in a good place to become a love magnet for the right person, regardless of so-called, imperfections.

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